It’s the semester break at last, and we are in Istanbul for a few days. We did a bit of running around today, in the faintly carnival atmosphere of the first day of the hols, and Baki encountered a personal hero:
His report card was full of good news, which was a pleasant surprise. I have to say, though, that although Baki has worked really hard and learned a lot (cursive!), I feel like if I were to get a report card, it would be full of disappointments.
I know that on some level, disappointment in myself is inevitable as a parent (please just don’t tell me if I’m wrong). But it did get me thinking about all those times when I fail as a mom, friend, daughter, wife, gardener, you name it.
Amazingly, Baki still comes to me with his heart and arms wide open. That is a testament to his sweet heart (or maybe he knows he’s stuck with me). And I know I’ll get what’s coming to me when he gets a little older. As to why anyone who knew me in high school would want to have anything to do with me anymore, that remains a mystery.
I suppose there is something about how friends and family stay by my side in spite of my shortcomings that makes them all the dearer. In return, I can only say how grateful I am, and I promise to always try to do better. There is, after all, never a lack of room for improvement in life.
3 thoughts on “Could do better”
Oh i am sure you are being hard on yourself! People do that you know. What about all the things you got right! Put them on your report card first!! c
Celi is right. Why are we so willing to “forgive and forget” family and friends yet find it so hard to move passed our own shortcomings? We should all extend to ourselves the same courtesy we would so freely give to others and we will all be much happier.
You’re both right. It would be inexcusable for me to be as critical of others as I am of myself. No double standards! I resolve to lighten up and focus on the positives. Thank you both.